How Babywearing Helped Strengthen My Bond With My Older Kids After Bringing Home a New Baby
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Written by Katelyn King
Bringing home a new baby changes everything, especially when you also have older children. You’re learning how to meet this tiny person’s every need, all while making sure your other kids still feel loved, important, and special.
For me, babywearing has been the bridge helping me keep those connections alive. It hasn’t erased all the challenges, but it has made the days more doable, the moments more memorable, and the balance between my children’s needs a little easier to find.
Bringing Home A New Baby
When I brought home my second baby, my oldest was two, an only child until that point. Naturally, there was some jealousy. Suddenly, my lap wasn’t always open, and my arms were often full.
Babywearing saved me in those early days. I could hold my newborn close while still playing with my toddler, helping him feel safe and connected. We kept our favorite routines, like daily walks, because I could tuck my newborn into the carrier and head right out the door. For my toddler, that sense of “normal” mattered.
By the time I brought home my third baby, life looked very different. I had two kids plus a newborn, and honestly, those early weeks were pure survival mode. My third baby also had colic, which made everything more intense. The carrier became her safe place.
Some days I leaned into rest and stayed home, but the reality was the rest of the family still needed meals, clean clothes, and a mom who could show up for them. Babywearing made that possible, even when “showing up” sometimes just meant making sandwiches without putting the baby down.
Breastfeeding in the Carrier
Breastfeeding in a baby carrier didn’t come naturally to me at first. With my first baby, it took months before I felt comfortable, and I didn’t truly master it until he was much older.
By the time my third baby arrived, it was second nature. I could nurse in the middle of noisy playtime with my older kids, baby tucked against me in the carrier while I read books or prepped lunch. I learned how to adjust the carrier quickly, lower her to chest height, and nurse without stopping life in its tracks.
That skill opened up so much freedom. I could nurse on hikes, at the zoo, during errands, all without needing to sit down and step away from my older kids’ needs.
Fast Forward to Today
Babywearing has meant I can keep moving through the day and stay present for my older children. It has also given them a way to feel included with the new baby. They have their own little toy carriers for their stuffed animals, and they love to “wear” their babies right alongside me. Sometimes they even ask to help carry their sister, and I love seeing how involved they are.
Of course, babywearing isn’t a magic fix. On colicky days, my newborn often cried even in the carrier. My older two acted out from the big life changes, and I felt stretched thin. There were moments I wished I could clone myself. But even then, having the baby close freed up just enough of me to tend to everyone else.
Carpal Tunnel and Babywearing
Babywearing has been a true lifesaver for managing my carpal tunnel pain. When I had my first baby, I was working as a nurse from home, which meant lots of typing and repetitive hand movements. That combination quickly led to developing carpal tunnel syndrome, making it painful to hold a baby for long periods.
Using a hip seat carrier became essential, especially since my first and third babies didn’t always love being fully contained in a traditional carrier. The hip seat allowed me to keep them close and supported on my hip without putting extra strain on my wrists and hands. Instead of gripping or cradling them with my fingers and wrists, the seat carries most of their weight, giving my hands a much-needed break.
Even when my baby wanted to be held constantly, the hip seat made those moments manageable. It gave me the freedom to move around, cook, or homeschool without exacerbating my pain.
For moms dealing with carpal tunnel or any wrist discomfort, I highly recommend trying a hip seat or similar ergonomic carriers. They distribute baby’s weight more evenly and can make the difference between hours of painful holding and a more comfortable, joyful experience with your little one.
My Go-To Babywearing Carriers
During this season, my two favorites have been a hip seat and the Sestrice One carrier.
- Hip seat – This has been especially helpful for managing frequent ups and downs with having carpal tunnel
- Sestrice One – This to me feels like a luxury carrier. I was so impressed with the quality straight out of the box and once I got used to using a different carrier it quickly has become my favorite. One thing that I love about it is how easy it is to nurse in. It has PFAs (perfect fit adjusters) on the front that allow for easy access to breastfeed, even if I’m wearing a babywearing coat, something I’ve found trickier with carriers that don’t have that option.
A Word Of Encouragement
If you’re about to bring home a new baby and are worried about staying connected with your older kids, here’s my truth: there will be hard days. You will feel like you’re not enough for everyone at times. But there will also be moments so beautiful they stop you in your tracks, and those moments will outweigh the hard ones in my experience.
Watching my children’s sibling bonds grow has been one of the most magical experiences of my life. I honestly believe there’s no greater gift you can give your child than a sibling to share life with.
Babywearing hasn’t solved every challenge for me, but it’s been one of my most valuable tools for keeping life moving, nurturing my older kids, and making memories as a family of five.